so i definitely have not updated this in a long while. or maybe i did. anyways whatever i had to say then was not in the least important because i dont remember what it was about.

anyways. im sitting at kylas house. and her siblings make me feel sick. yelling... eck. i hate yelling so much. it makes me so i really dont even know the word to describe what it makes me feel. it gives me a headache, stomachache and i just get a really uncomfortable feeling all around.

anyways i hope she finishes moving soon cause she needs to come over and her mom is weird and wont let me be 'ungrounded' till shes done moving probably. if then.

arrrrrrgghhhh... i want starbucks. we didnt go to sleep last night.for no reason apparently. and the day before we went to sleep at like... 7ish after we had a waterfight with nikki (friend) and kylas brother and sister. more brother really.. her sister cried in the bathroom.. she's more spoiled than i am. thats insane.. but she is wayyy selfish. and well im just not. :]

welll.... i s'pose im done rambling on now.

tata

tabZ

Sooooo after much texting (because he is a pussy and wont talk to me) i have finally gotten my closure.

i feel so much better knowing the truth now.

he is still an asshole. and i wish him the best of luck with her, he will need it. Im sure she will break his heart once again.

he was s'posed to come see me. that didnt happen.

he said he'd call me later that night. i havnt talked to him since he said he couldnt come.

its been 4 days... no nothing...

there are two possibilities...

1. he is having a really difficult time right now .

              or

2. he lied.

i think i broke my own heart... when i started this whole thing. its all my fault.